Tyla and Toby – The Guyliner

Oh cool, Monica and Chandler are nevertheless jointly. Oh really, dangle on, it’s not just one of condition comedy’s laziest character pairings, it’s Tyla, a 28-12 months-outdated furnishings restorer, and Toby, 29, a product sales supervisor.

Browse what transpired on the day on the Guardian site – and see that special mildly uncomfortable selfie they make them just take now – then return right here as I sweep up a number of free chippings.

Tyla on Toby | Toby on Tyla

What have been you hoping for?
A person who I wouldn’t need to have to prise their existence story out of, with a bit of hearth in their belly.

At 29, Tyla has the jaded patter of an individual who’s sat opposite all the worst gentlemen Tinder has to provide (spoiler: all of them) making an attempt to work out if she could endure a respectable-ish 10 decades with them ahead of the inescapable divorce and 12 months-extended WhatsApp arguments about ‘The auto was in MY title Tyla I should really be ready to use the Montego this weekend. Carmen and I are heading to a biplane rally and simulator in Broadstairs’.

What ended up you hoping for?
Someone who’d researched the menu and was up for sharing both the tomahawk or porterhouse.

Checking the menu just before you go someplace, the place do you stand on it? I really do not truly care, but I know it actually frosts up some people’s knickers. From time to time if I have in no way listened to of the cafe and another person else has organized it, I’ll have a speedy glimpse – I really don’t feel the require to be consistently stunned like a toddler on its birthday as a lot of many others do. Specifically if the person arranging the food has famously poor taste in food, or is 1 of those people individuals who orders every little thing, watches you nibble your way by your sole Ryvita ‘n’ Vitalite and suggests ‘Shall we break up it the monthly bill?’ In some cases you require to know what you are working with. Anyway, très grand spoiler: Tyla will not be up for sharing any of this damn meat.

Very first impressions?
Pretty well mannered and great as a cucumber.

Very polite! A charming quality but also… you appear to have brought your grandmother on the date. What next? Pretty cleanse nails. A best gentleman. Quite superior to his mom. He ate all his rice pudding.

Initially impressions?
She appeared excellent and instantaneously made me experience at simplicity.

This is a 1st perception you want. Call me shallow and previous-fashioned – but make guaranteed you have pithier comebacks than that if you want to survive – but I would quite like the initially perception when I meet any one to be ‘they appear great’, or at least ‘I can see what they are attempting to do here’ or maybe even ‘I can convey to they were maybe a catch when they have been more youthful, about the time Kylie experienced her very last Number 1 single’.

What did you speak about?
How well dressed he was. Scorching yoga. First rate kebab vans. Houseshares. Persons-watching. Launderette tales. Boats.

Living on a boat – I had a million questions that I managed to slip in throughout the training course of the night.

How well dressed he was – Are these great clothes in the room with us ideal now? (JOKE Toby you glimpse fine.)

Boats/residing on a boat ✅ – Those who recall sitcoms in the 80s could possibly remember there was practically often one particular character – generally a winsome lady who did not comb her hair and wore loud jumpers – who lived on a boat of some description.

Hot yoga – It may possibly surprise you to discover I do yoga. It surely surprises my system when I try to do anything extra strenuous than the corpse pose. Let’s just say I’m not rather folding myself into a pretzel but it is like attempting to fold concrete. But I do it at residence, not in a studio or anything at all like that. Everyday living is hard more than enough devoid of sitting down barefoot in a fart stew for 45 minutes.

Individuals-viewing –

Launderette stories – I’ve by no means spoken to any person though utilizing a launderette simply because I never reside in a Richard Curtis motion picture or Albert Sq., but I do 1 day hope to be photographed in a launderette in ugly designer clothing, possibly smooshing a chip into my mouth (that includes Videodrome-pink ketchup) or stubbing a Superkings out into a steak and kidney pie – a lot like each and every other photograph shoot in The Encounter or Sky magazine in the 1990s.

Most uncomfortable instant?
When I instructed him I did not eat meat although sitting down in a steakhouse (although there ended up veggie possibilities).

Exploring Tyla is a vegetarian although we have been in a steakhouse.

I fully grasp this would’ve been awkward in, say, 1987, when the veggie selection would’ve been to stand outside the house and hope a pigeon drops a broccoli floret into your mouth, but it is not truly awks to be a vegetarian is it? This weirdness commonly comes from meat eaters who truly feel some peculiar guilt over tucking into meat when dining with a vegetarian. I suppose, even so, that if you essentially want a snog, you have a far better probability if you avoid meat far too. I ponder what Toby ordered.

Fantastic table manners?
Sure. We shared the starter – how passionate.

Depends what the starter was. Sloppy Mac and cheese with aubergine filings perhaps not, eh? Let’s seem at the menu! Bear with me. The vegetarian solutions are… well, they are there. One particular is ‘chopped lettuce’. Crikey. I’m assuming they share the burrata, as almost everything else is meaty or boring. Well duller than £21 burrata in any case. Is burrata intimate? Moist cheese? With some tomatoes (so unusual! so chic!), some pesto drizzled above it like gangrenous cystitis, and a bit of sourdough? I now realise I have in fact been to this restaurant and experienced the most annoying Sunday roast of my daily life, oh my God. There was macaroni cheese and half a cow in my (large) Yorkshire pudding. Ugh.

Finest factor about Toby?
The dialogue was pretty well balanced, no uncomfortable voids to fill, and he was rather inquisitive. Sometimes with dates it’s like squeezing blood out of a stone.

Haha god all these Useless guys Tyla has been on dates with. Why do they even hassle? (I know why they trouble.) Every woman I talk to who is on a dating app talks about it with as substantially fondness as you may an ongoing concern with an ingrown toenail, or a Shane Richie Xmas album. Adult men, please just… attempt to improve a character.

Most effective matter about Tyla?
She’s exciting to hang out with and a fantastic conversationalist.

This is wonderful. Toby is a nice youthful guy. Well accomplished.

What do you assume Tyla made of you?
Over-all good. At 1 point she said I looked like Paul Mescal but I feel that was the cocktails chatting.

It was the cocktails chatting. Tim Vincent, maybe? Brian Dowling circa 2002? Matthew Perry series 1 of Mates? I dunno, I’m pretty much not a large lover of ‘Oh you look like [insert name of celebrity here] even since a drunk man I have never met right before came up to me at a occasion and explained, pretty loudly, by way of hi there, that I looked like David Coulthard. A: No I really do not. B: What you telling me that for? What do you want me to do with that? Notify you who you search like in return? Feel me, you Never.

And … did you kiss?
Sure just a lickle 1.

Briefly.

No tongues.

If you could change one factor about the evening what would it be?
Just about everywhere was closing so we experienced to just consider any pub we could get.

My trousers. I managed to rip them cycling to the restaurant.

David Nicholls wrote these responses. That’s v sweet that they did not want the date to end so had to promptly bundle into any pub that would have them (there’s not considerably about exactly where that restaurant is, off Horseferry Road, ugh). And as for the cycling/trousers drama: cycling to a day is pretty courageous but possibly not every person is like me and starts to sweat like a thoroughbred clearing Becher’s Brook in just seconds of climbing on a wonky Santander cycle.

Marks out of 10?
8.

8.

As I said, no tongues. So the 8 is pretty acceptable.

Would you meet up with once more?
Yes, Toby was a fantastic date.

Hurrah!

Would you meet once again?
I’d absolutely like to see her yet again, and check out her houseboat at some issue.

Haha, I bet you would Toby. Nothing at all like setting out your intentions wonderful and early.

 

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Anything to recall about the overview and the daters that I set at the close of each individual review

The comments I make are primarily based on responses presented by members. The Guardian chooses what to publish and ordinarily edits solutions to make the column work superior on the website page. Most items I say are riffing on the solutions specified and not judgements about the daters themselves, so make sure you be kind to them in remarks, replies, and generally on social media. Daters are under no obligation to get alongside for our gain, or clarify why they do, or do not, want to see each and every other all over again, so please try not to speculate or fill our feeds with loathe. If you are 1 of the daters, get in touch if you want to give me your aspect of the story. Welcome aboard.

Tyla and Toby ate at SK Steakhouse, London SW1. Extravagant a blind date? Electronic mail [email protected]

This one particular is for Andy. Goodnight, darling.

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